Last week I was invited by Urban Decay cosmetics to deliver a talk about confidence & self love. Here’s what I had to say…

CONFIDENCE IS NOT SOMETHING THAT YOU ARE BORN WITH OR WITHOUT.

I believe that confidence is not something that you are born with or with out. It is not a personality trait. Often people mistake the behaviours of outgoing people, it’s easy to assume the if someone is extroverted then they must be confident. However this is not the case. In fact, you can be either an extroverted person or an introverted person, but you can still be confident in yourself, your own abilities and your unique talents.

Confidence is actually a skill, and like any skill, it simply requires practice. When we’re growing up and discovering our sense of self, many things can impact our self confidence. Our experiences, our social and cultural influences, and our parents, all play a role in building self confidence. 

Many people say that they find public speaking difficult. I myself, used to find it incredibly daunting. Last week when I stood up in front of seven hundred people to deliver a talk, I felt surprisingly calm and confident. I believe that everyone has the ability to master public speaking. Sure, at first the idea can seem overwhelming but that is simply because you’ve never done it before. If public speaking is something that you want to pursue, whether you are an introvert or an extrovert is irrelevant, you just need to practice.

Once you start to practice something, over time you will become more capable. Then you start to believe that you can do it and hence you start to build your confidence.

This year I am training for my second marathon. If I just focus the 26.2 mile race, I can’t even get my head around it! It’s terrifying! But, once I create a training plan, I break it down and  I start off my running four or five miles. I know that I can run five miles quite easily. I then increase the distance each week. I slowly start to become more confident running further and further. I prove to myself that I can do it and over time I build up to running twenty miles. It’s simply by practicing what I want to achieve, that I become more confident.

HOW CAN WE PRACTICE CONFIDENCE…

Well there are a lot of ways, but you have to tap into something that works for you, here are three ways to get started…

1 – Remind yourself of your achievements, big and small. Remember how hard you worked to achieve it. Whether that was studying for a degree, getting a job promotion or running a 5K race. You worked hard to do that. No one did it for you. We often look forward to our future goals and aspirations, but it’s important to also look back and see how far you have already come. Also, remember that work ethic is everything! If you are willing to work insanely hard, there is no doubt that it will pay off.

2 – How to overcome feeling self- conscious… It’s easy to be held back by what others think about us or what we think that others will say. However, in the last year or so (since I turned 30 last September) I have learnt something that is incredibly powerful and liberating… ‘No one really cares.’ Now bare with me whilst I explain, I’m not suggesting that nobody cares about you, but we live in a fast world, there is always something going on, most people are distract most of the time. No one is really paying attention to your every move. It’s amazing when you realise that if you try something new, even if you fail, no one will notice because they’re too busy and they’re already looking at the next thing. Please don’t let the fear of other peoples opinions or judgment stop you from doing something or from being yourself. 

3 – Earn credibility with yourself. What does that mean? It means that if you set yourself a goal, you have to stick to it. Let’s say, you want to wake up earlier to go to an exercise class before work. If you set your alarm and you get up and do it, then you are proving to yourself that you mean what you say. You will start to trust yourself, those initial goals then become habits and overtime this this will build your sense of identity and self confidence.

CONFIDENCE & SELF LOVE 

So many people are now talking about self love but what’s it all about…

The self love movement is one that encourages women to prioritise their own happiness and well-being. The aim is for women to let go of feelings of shame, guilt and self criticism, and to instead focus on love, acceptance, compassion and respect. For many women this process can be incredibly difficult due to the  cultural and social norms that surround women, beauty, equality and a lack of diversity in mainstream media.

Over the last few years the self love movement has grown and grown. I believe that social media has played a huge role in spreading this message.

Bloggers & social media influencers are using their platforms and using their voice to share the truth. The truth about our bodies, our emotions, our passions, our reality and our imperfections. We are talking about topics in a far more honest way than ever before. Everything from body hair, saggy boobs, motherhood, botox, sex, money, self worth and self love. It’s amazing to see so many women standing up and using their voices. Voices that are being heard loud and clear!

So, I encourage you all to join the self love movement and to celebrating your uniqueness. You are a one of a kind. No one else on this planet has had all of your experiences, your influences, or your life. You have a unique perspective. You have a voice. You have ideas. You matter and you should take some time to truly acknowledge that. Because, whatever your age, gender ability, size, colour, no one else is YOU. 

Owning who you truly are, requires confidence but once you get there, it’s magic! Let’s all start practising today.

I’d love to hear your thoughts, as always you can hit me up on social media @adrienne_ldn on Instagram and twitter. Please share this post with a friend that needs to hear a message of encouragement.